Part 9 - Clinging: “This is Mine”
(Upādāna — The Grasp That Makes Identity Solid)
Craving wants things.
Clinging claims them.
This is where the mind says:
“This is my success.”
“This is my failure.”
“This is my image.”
“This is me.”
Craving is the spark.
Clinging is the hand grabbing the fire.
What does clinging attach to?
The Buddha described four major attachments:
1️⃣ Clinging to sensual pleasure (kāma-upādāna)
“I need this to be happy.”
2️⃣ Clinging to views (diṭṭhi-upādāna)
“My beliefs define who I am.”
3️⃣ Clinging to rules and rituals (sīlabbata-upādāna)
“I will be saved by my techniques.”
4️⃣ Clinging to self-concept (attavāda-upādāna)
“This is me. I must protect it.”
The fourth attachment
is the most dangerous of all
because it supports every other one.
Clinging makes the world personal
- A comment becomes an insult
- A failure becomes shame
- A loss becomes heartbreak
- A delay becomes injustice
Not because the world changed—
but because ownership appeared.
Without clinging:
pain is just sensation.
With clinging:
pain is a threat to “me.”
Suffering = pain + ownership
Clinging builds the prison of identity
When we cling, we do not hold objects—
objects hold us.
Clinging says:
- “I must be seen as capable.”
- “I must not disappoint others.”
- “I must secure my happiness.”
All of these are identities
that require constant defense.
Clinging makes the self “real”
but fragile.
The subtle trick of clinging
Clinging masks itself as:
- love
- commitment
- responsibility
- morality
- practicality
But the test is simple:
Does it create fear
of losing something?
If yes—
that is clinging.
Real love has no fear.
Real wisdom has no possession.
The good news
Clinging is optional.
It feels automatic
only because we have practiced it
for a very long time.
But the moment we see clinging as clinging,
the grip begins to loosen—
not by force,
but by understanding.
One sentence summary of Part 9
Clinging turns experience into “my experience”
—and suffering begins.